The Fun of Creating Paperbacks

Okay, it's after ten and I'm up working on formatting UNEQUAL for paperback.  I actually went to bed at eight.  Laid there for a half an hour and gave up.  So now, I'm sitting here working on creating a paperback* because, hey, if I'm not sleeping I might as well be productive.  Right?

It took me about 45 minutes to format the manuscript for print.  I'm not sure if I ever gave you my checklist for formatting print books, so here it is (all of this is done in MS Word):

1)  Type THE END

2)  Find and replace all double spacing between sentences with single spacing

3)  Remove all Bookmarks.

4)  Make sure everything is the font you’ve chosen for the book.

5)  Format all chapter headings as Headings.  Including THE END.

6)  Apply print font for Headings to all.

7)  Format all scene breaks for continuity within book and within series

8)  Create title page

9)  Create Copyright and Acknowledgements page

10)  Add in About the Author Page at the end

11)  Add in back matter.

12)  Create Section Breaks after Acknowledgements and after THE END

13)  Add Pages Numbers to manuscript section centered bottom

14)  Verify ‘Link to Previous’ is unchecked

15)  Format Page Numbers to chosen look

16)  Set to ‘Different First Page’ in manuscript section

17)  Delete page number from first page of manuscript section, if necessary

18)  Verify no page numbers in front matter section or back matter section

19)  Set page size to 5.5” x 8.5”

20)  Set margins to Top .88”, Bottom .88”, Inside .75”, Outside .63”

21)  Make sure margins are ‘mirrored’

22)  Verify all chapters start on right hand page.

23)  Print a few pages to verify it will look how you want it to look.

24)  Upload to Amazon

Generally, most of the first 11 are taken care of during formatting for ebooks - except removing the bookmarks I need to have for e-publication.

So, I got all the steps through 23 done in, like I said, about 45 minutes.  It took another 45 minutes to complete the last step.  Part of that was because I had to tweak the cover - if I centered the title, my name went off the page.  If I centered my name, the title went over the spine.  Stupid thing.  I went back into my cover creation program and shuffled the placement around until I could have both of them where I wanted them without looking all centered and junk.  

Another part that hung me up was after I'd set everything up and was previewing the blasted thing, I noted that a pretty little line of ~~~~ after THE END had jumped over to the left side instead of being centered.  Stupid thing.  I deleted the pretty line.  It wasn't necessary, just pretty.  Re-uploaded the manuscript, re-previewed it, and huzzah, at about 10pm, managed to send a proof through to be set up for ordering.

I did almost all of this already once - when I set up Blink of an I this... err... yesterday morning.  I wasn't actually going to do UEQ until today.  But hey, insomnia.  If I can't sleep, I might as well tackle stuff from my to-do list, eh?

Like I said, my cover artist is working on two other books right now.  When those files get here, I'll be back at step 24 for each of those.  Woohoo.

In case you're new to this game, book proofs cost me about $10 each - the book plus shipping - and I can't sell them to recoup that cost.  (They're stamped across the cover with NOT FOR RESALE.)  Good thing I squirreled away some acorns, eh?  The book cost to readers usually depends on the size of the book.  I do try to keep them as low as I can.  Blink will be $12.99 and Unequal will be $11.99.  (Decreasing the font to 10pt got the price more reasonable.  Blink would've been a behemoth.)  Get your order over $25 and shipping is free (usually... can't always depend on Amazon to not screw things up.)

Anyway, I hope this makes sense in the morning when you see it.  I think I'm finally tired enough to give sleep another try.

Any questions?  Comments?

* I started this post while I was waiting for files to upload or something, and finished it after I finished the task at hand.

The Two Minds of B.E. Sanderson

I'm of two minds.  On the one side, I have the creative mind.  It writes books and does covers and pretty pictures.  On the other, the business mind.  It does all the other stuff - accounting, marketing, formatting, publishing, editing, etc.  And they can't seem to work at the same time.

Most days, I can keep them apart.  Business works in the morning.  Creative works in the evening.  

But when one of them is particularly focused on its job, the other one takes a vacation.  When I'm deep into the writing, I can't seem to get Business to do the stuff it needs to do.  When I'm deep into work chores, Creative doesn't want to work and laughs at me when I try.  

Like when I get a bunch of spreadsheets to do for the pay-job... I can't write that day.  Unfortunately, it doesn't work the other way because the pay-job stuff is time-sensitive.  It comes in and I do it, regardless of where I'm at with the writing.  Lucky for my writing, it doesn't happen too often.  I get the spreadsheets done in the morning and by evening, I'm ready to let Creative loose.

Right now, I've been wrapped up in post-publication stuff.  Business has taken over and Creative is at the beach napping under an umbrella.  I want to write.  I have ideas.  But I can't seem to get that part of my brain in gear.

Occasionally, the two minds have jobs that overlap.  Marketing, for instance.  It's a job for Business, but in order to get snazzy copy, Creative has to cooperate.  Trying to wake her up to write ad copy for FB posts first thing in the morning is like waking a hibernating squirrel.  Gah.  I should set those things up at night, but try and get Business awake enough then to remember to prod Creative... Gah.

Unfortunately, Creative is easily derailed.  Of course she is, she's creative.  She gets distracted by everything.  Like I said... squirrel.  If Creative had half the focus Business does, I'd be cranking books out all over the place.  But no.  Then again, if she was focused, she wouldn't be creative.  Or something.  I guess.

Not sure what the answer is.  Muddle along?  I do have 16 books out now, so it's not like it isn't working entirely.  Some days I just wish it would work more efficiently.  

What about you?  Do your creative and business sides work together?  

Note:  I am not insane.  Really, I'm not.

Sale Time Again

Staring today all of the books in the Once Upon a Djinn series are on sale for 99c/99p each through next Tuesday night.  Get the whole damn series for less than $4.  (Always free with Kindle Unlimited.)  See where Jo starts out and where she ends up, with many twists and turns and snarks along the way. 

There's no paid advertising for this sale, so any sales are strictly reliant on how much interest I can drum up here and on FB.  As we all know, having a sale without having advertising is pretty much crickets, so I'm not expecting great things.  If I sell a couple of each, that would be awesome.  And if I get page reads, too, that would be more awesome.

I'll be trying to have a sale on the SCIU books again next month.  We'll see how that goes and whether the advertising budget can cough up enough for a paid ad.  You know the drill... you have to spend money to make money to spend money to make money... ad infinitum.  Since I haven't spent any money I haven't made any money to spend.  Bleh.

Anyway, I know most of the people who stop by here have already picked up their copies of OUAD and enjoyed them.  Thank you again for all your support.  It means the world to me. 

And if you haven't yet read the genie books, now is your chance to get them cheap.  I hope you give them a try and enjoy the hell out of them.  =o)

Welcome to the Wonderful World of Crutch Words

Or should I say, welcome once more? 

This time around, since Unequal was a book I'd written a while ago - you know, before I became totally awesome* - I have additional words to add to my usual words and my usual words were worse than usual.

It took me off and on about 4 hours to go through all the THAT.  Started out with 413 instances.  Ended up at 124 instances.  The next day, I tackled LIKE.  Went from 322 to 106.  Then I did JUST. 

Funny thing about JUST, though.  I did my usual search for JUST and Word told me I had 434 instances of it.  Ack!  But I forgot to allow for the fact that one of my central characters is named JUSTIN (of which there were 328 instances... he talks and people talk about him a lot).  JUST is also inside ADJUST.  In the end, after all the weeding was done and the other instances were tossed out, I wound up with only 32 instances of JUST all by itself.

Yesterday was a bear of a day between a 90 minute power outage and doing Christmas cards, but I did manage to tackle SAID.  Only got about halfway on that, but I managed to eradicate it 88 times so far.

Those four are my worst offenders.  Today, I'll finish SAID, then tackle KNEW/KNOW and THINK/THOUGHT.  And WHEN.  Then there'll be NOW and STILL.  Then we have EVEN. 

There are others, but those aren't as bad this time, so I will probably leave those alone.  Unless on my read-through they become irritating.  Then I'll go back and scrub those out, too.

After dinner last night, I told Hubs I needed to get back to work. Here's how that went...

Hubs:  But you've been working all day.
Me: This is supposed to release on Monday.
Hubs:  Call your publisher and ask for an extension.
Me: :laughing: I am the publisher.
Hubs: :laughing:  Exactly.
Me:  I called her and she said no.:more laughing:

Anyway, there's a lot of work still to be done, so I'm not sure I'll have this out on Monday like I promised.  Sorry about that.  On the bright side, it'll be better than it would be if I didn't bother doing this.

And now, back to work...

*That was a joke, folks.  If I was totally awesome, I wouldn't need to scrub crutch words out of every manuscript.  Derp.

Editing Insanity

Okay, so I said I would juggle Natural Causes and Wish Hits the Fan.  Umm, yeah, that didn't happen.  Not yet anyway.  But I have been busting my hump editing Natural Causes.  187 pages of line editing done in 4 days.  I should have that done today and jump into the big fixes my editor suggested.  That should take another couple of days.  Which means I could have this back to her like Thursday.  Instead of Sunday. 

Yeah, I knew I could do it if I applied myself.  It's the applying myself thing that hangs me up sometimes. 

Of course, it also means that I haven't done any reading.  And virtually no marketing.  :shrug:  Things get set aside when I'm in deadline mode.

Another side-effect of editing full steam is that I sometimes am not quite right in the head.  Lucky for me, Hubs knows this.  He walked into the office last night, and I started making incoherent noises at him.  He said, "Editing insanity?"  Yup.  He knows.  The next time he came in, I started with the noises again and then we did this whole schtick together.  Nice respite from the editing slog.

Anyway, don't expect deep insights from me this week.  Unless I have a flash of brilliance that makes it past the editing insanity. 

Don't count on it.

Where the Magic Occurs

So, I was sitting around Saturday morning looking at stuff and junk, when I realized that I didn't like my Twitter header anymore.  Which led to the bright idea to take a picture of my actual workspace.  Which led to this post. 

This is where I work - exactly as it is.  No retouching.  No cleaning.  Just my spot.  As is.  Kinda like me.  ;o)

So, there I am - laid out in workspace style.  You see my coffee mug.  You see my pack of smokes and my ashtray.  You see the myriad of writing utensils - one cup for pens and pencils, one for markers, and the last for highlighters.  Two calendars - the plain one on the wall for keeping track of things and my bird of the day calendar in the corner. (Today's bird is the White Tern.) There's also a photo of my mom and dad.  The remote goes to my little stereo, but I rarely listen to that. If you look closely, you'll find my headphones hanging from the drawer knob. Better to listen to tunes without disturbing the Hubs. The two books under my monitor are old Funk & Wagnalls dictionaries (A-L and M-Z).  The corner of the frame you can see in the upper right is a copy of The Declaration of Independence. 

For the record, those drapes are never opened.  And the window behind them leads to another room.  (I didn't design this place, so no clue why there's a window looking out on the sun room, but no windows looking outside.) 

Looking at this closely, you can also tell I need to dust.  Yikes, my keyboard.  Don't let the dust fool you.  If you could zoom in, you'd see there's no dust on the keys I actually use.  In fact, there are hardly any letters left on the keys I use most frequently.  Again.  I can't keep keyboard letters intact for more than a few months.

So, anyway, there I am.  Pretty much everything you need to know about me can be found in that picture.  (Okay, so you can't tell what's on the monitor.  It's a manuscript.  Naturally.)  All it needs is food and a little sculpture of a fish.

If you designed a workspace* that told your story, what would be on your desk?

*I didn't design it that way.  It just ended up being that way.

What Editing Looks Like For Me

Yep, nothing's changed.  I still hate editing.  Here's how an editing session looks for me:

Open the manuscript file. 
Open the editor's manuscript file.
Go to the Bookmark where I left off on each.
Locate the first pink marks.  (My editor marks directly in the manuscript in pink font.  Which is good because I loathe 'track changes'.)
Stare at suggestions.
Make changes.
Scroll to next pink locale.
Stare at suggestions.
Rail.
Bookmark spot and find something else to do for a few minutes - check email, FB, Twitter, etc., have a smoke, use the bathroom...
Make changes.
Find next locale.
Stare at suggestions.
Rail.
Call editor nasty names.
Bookmark spot.
Get up and do housework, read, walk, eat, watch TV...
Eventually come back and sit down.
Sigh heavily.
Mark changes.
Lather, rinse, repeat throughout the day.
Save file throughout the session.
About dinnertime (or bedtime as the case may be) upload file to gmail for backup.
Write new words.  (Unless I left the editing until late, then no new words for that day.)

I did 27 pages on Monday.  I did another 35 pages last night.  It's not the most efficient way to work, but it works for me. 

Once Upon a Djinn - The Facebook Page

So, I mentioned on Monday that I have a new page for my Once Upon a Djinn series.  It's totally new and I have two followers at the moment.  :waves:

My vision for this page is to use it to interact with fans of the series, provide some fun links to things related to the series, use it to announce new stuff and upcoming stuff, etc. 

There will be antiques posts - because, if you haven't read the first genie book yet, the main character owns Mayweather Antiquities - an antiques business and auction house.  She sells the things her genie friends and no longer want or need, and she uses the fundage to keep her real business of genie rescue and rehabilitation up and running.  (Wishing up money upsets the global financial balance, don't ya know.) 

There will be posts about things supernatural - including, I hope, links to paranormal book releases, reviews, etc.

I plan to share links about people who may or may not BE genies or OWN genies - you know, the extremely lucky, the weirdly successful, and the strangely beautiful and.or ageless.  (I think Dick Clark was a genie... is a genie... who couldn't keep up the human act any longer as Dick Clark. His appearance and name are probably altered now and he's working in some other occupation.)

If you have any ideas about what might be cool there, let me know.  If you have any suggestions for genie sightings or interesting antiques that might be appropriate for a Mayweather Auction, shoot me an email at be.sanderson.writer at gmail.com.  Or Facebook message me.  (Talk to me first, though.  I won't open links from total strangers because, well, viruses.)

If you are not on FB, that's okay.  You can still read the page.  You'll still see all the news and posts. You can still interact with me about it.  You just can't interact with me THERE.  No biggie.  And don't worry.  News and updates about my genie books will still be posted here and in my newsletter. 

I want this to be fun.  I'll try to remember to post there often, so you don't get bored.  I hope you'll stop by.

A Business AND a Person

I'm a writer which means I am a self-employed business person. Or looking at it another way, I'm a business AND a person.  Everything I do computer-wise for either is done right here, sitting in my desk chair in front of my cluttered desk. 

I don't get dressed, get into my car, and drive to the office.  I get out of bed, use the bathroom, make a pot of coffee, and wander into the office. 

Which means that when I open my email first thing in the morning, I might get a note from a friend or a notification of a new chat message from my daughter, and an email from my mom, alongside pressing business stuff like a letter from my cover artist asking for approval of changes or a note that my marketing has been approved or rejected, and a notice from Paypal that someone has tried to suck money out of my account (only happened once and that was last year). 

Unfortunately, I'm not the kind of person who can usually put things off.  Which means dealing with issues before I am properly caffeinated.  I put off sending sensitive emails until I can word stuff without coming off like a total bitch, though, so at least I got that going for me.  I'm doing that right now, in fact.  I'll have to deal with it sometime this morning, but not until I've had a few more cups of coffee and at least one more cigarette.

It also means that shortly after checking my mail, I'm looking at my sales stats and updating my spreadsheets. 

Oh, I suppose I could be more business-like and not do work stuff first thing.  Set a time and not do anything work related until the start of my 'office hours'.  But that's just not me.  All the business things and all the personal things are rolled up into one entity.  Me.  Sanderson Enterprises - writing, publishing, veterinary services, catering, housekeeping, landscaping, marketing, secretarial services, tech support, grooming. 

Heh, I'm like a one-man Kelly Temps.  Which is kinda funny because I used to work for them.

Anyway, my business cards (if I ever had any printed) would say 'writer', but that one word encompasses so many things.  And I wouldn't trade it for the world. 

And now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go be a dishwasher.  Then I have to compose a reply to a marketing venue I'm dealing with.  Then I should probably exercise.  After which, I'll shower and then get back to work on editing.

Because It's Christmas Week

Because it's the days leading up to Christmas, I'm going to take a break from talking about work - which means no informational posts, no marketing posts, and no mayhem posts.  Just quiet enjoyment of life in general. 

I will say to look for a special post on Christmas that will be kinda markety, but fun.  (At least, I think it'll be fun.  But I'm not a typical person, so your mileage may vary.)

Today, tell me something you have that you would want under your tree if you didn't already have it.  For me, last year, my husband gave me the gift of supporting me in my decision to self-publish.  He's giving it to me again this year.  Yay.  But if I didn't have that gift, I sure would be happy to see it under the tree.  With a pretty bow.

How about you?

There Are Rules

Hi there.  Jo again.  B.E. asked me to explain the Rules to you guys, so here's the short version:

When the gods created the djinn race, they imbued us with a boatload of power.  And saddled us with Rules so we wouldn't ruin the world.  Makes sense to the us rational djinn.  The Efreet? Not so much.  Anyway, as near as I can tell, the big Rules are basically

1) No harming of the Master by direct wish.
2) No killing by direct wish.
3) No messing with time.
4) No messing with free will.
5) No unmaking the Universe.
6) No stealing another genie's sanctuary.
7) No raising the dead.

Simple stuff on a grand scale, but not nearly enough to keep wayward genies from getting into trouble, so the Council governs a set of rules that are kind of arbitrary and subjective.  Things like 'no public displays of magic' and 'don't do anything to out the djinn race to the world' are pretty good ideas.  Others, like 'don't talk about the Efreet' are pretty stupid.  But all governing bodies tend to make stupid rules here and there.

Of course, there are ways to circumvent some of the Rules and the rules.  Want to kill a human but can't wish for it? Drop a tree on them.  Stab them. Shoot them. Mundane and non-magical is hunky-dory with the gods, I guess.

Obviously, since the gods made them, you can't break the Rules outright.  Breaking the rules, on the other hand, is easy.  I'd know.  But, if they catch you, breaking their little rules comes with a steep punishment.  And who wants to wear a fur coat for centuries? Not me.

So those are the Rules.  I'm not exactly an expert, but I'm the only one who'd talk to B.E. about them, because talking about them is... you guessed it... against the rules.  Big surprise there.

If you could have one wish, what would it be?  Not that I can grant it, but you never know. What the Council doesn't know won't hurt them.  (And they're not exactly internet savvy, so I'm not too worried about them finding out here.)

If you want to read more about me and my adventures, pick up a copy of B.E.'s book Wish in One Hand.  It's on sale until Halloween night. 

Jo Talks Genies - Part Two

Sanderson here asked me an interesting question the other day. It's one I've been asked time and again over the years. 

"What's this whole 'freeing genies' thing about? I mean, why do you do it?"

First off, think about it.  A whole species of intelligent beings starts their existence out as slaves.  Who wants that shit?

Now, some have argued - the Council, for instance - that slavery is decreed by the gods and it's a way to keep being with incredible power from taking over and ruining things for the rest of the sentient life on the planet.  I figure if we're so damn incredible, we should be able to put a rein on our own damn selves.  All it takes is a little knowledge and a good moral compass.

Okay, so not everyone has that.  And lord knows, it's not like the best and the brightest of the lot get chosen somehow to become a genie.  Look at me.  I was an airhead without the common sense frogs are endowed with.  But I learned.  And the big Rules keep us from doing anything really stupid - like unmaking the universe.  What I started with the Network was a way to take the genies who might not have the knowledge or the good moral compass, and train them to be productive members of society.  So far, it's worked pretty well. 

I also admit there's a good amount of guilt behind my mission.  I got my freedom because my Master died, and then I spent it playing hedonist.  What a waste of forever.  Now I spent time trying to free other genies without someone having to die.  All it takes is a little wish and POOF they're free.  Or to use a phrase Basil likes to toss around - easy peasy.  If the Council or the Efreet or the gods don't like it, they can lump it.  (Or they can try to stop me - which is the more likely scenario.) 

If you're interested in learning more about genies, or my escapades of trying to do my job when not everyone wants me to do it, grab a copy of Wish in One Hand.  Right now, I have genies to wrangle and Efreet to chase.

Jo Talks Genies

I'm probably going to get my ass kicked for doing this, but I'm pretty sure the Council doesn't check the blogosphere, so I should be fine.

Let's begin at the beginning...

Genies, or as they prefer to be called 'djinn', are a creation of the gods -  probably as some form of entertainment.  I mean, what could be more entertaining for super-powerful beings than making a race of beings, endowing them with the ability to do pretty much anything, and then giving them a set of unbreakable Rules to live under?  Oh, and tying their hands behind their back with their power being contingent on a few syllables spoken by people who can't figure out how to program a VCR.

I don't know when the first genie crawled out of its primordial soup.  The oldest genie I know is Zeke and he isn't exactly all that interested in talking about his DOB.  Something about being around to watch Atlantis sink beneath the waves - whatever that means.

Anyway, genies.  You've probably already heard the stories, watched the movies, read the books.  Phenomenal power, tied to a lamp or a bottle (or whatever we choose for our sanctuary - mine's a cameo brooch), and leashed to a Master. We mostly become genies because of our own stupidity.  Personally, I made the mistake of wishing for unlimited wishes - which set up a chain reaction wherein I traded places with the genie granting the wish.  I had unlimited wishes I would then have to dole out three at a time to whoever held my sanctuary, and he had his freedom.  Not quite a fair trade, in my opinion, but I was young and stupid at the time.

Every rare once in a while, a genie becomes free.  We can be wished free by a Master, or we can trade places with a foolish human like that genie did to me, or we can have a Master who dies without making all his wishes - which is how I gained my emancipation.  Like I said, though, genies have a set of Rules they have to live under whether they're free or not.  And free genies still have to get their juice from someone somewhere making a wish.  Free floating wish energy - wishes made every day by every human on the planet whether they're granted or not - helps build up the stores, but nothing sparks a genie like a good old fashioned wish.  

Ahhhh.

Oh, where was I?

Yeah, genies... djinn... You've only heard about us in fiction because we'd really rather the general populous not now we really exist.  We'd be hunted like animals - either to become slaves or to be killed or to be captured and studied.  Who wants that?  We just want to be free to do our own thing.  Problem is when we're out there in the world doing our own thing and messing with the general balance of things.  And that's where the Council comes in.  As much as I hate their petty prying, they do serve a purpose - keeping mankind from knowing about us, keeping rogue genies in line, enforcing the rules.  My problem is I never know what they'll think of as a 'rule' rather than just a guideline for behavior.  You know how it goes - is the speed limit 25 through here or is it 55?  It's not like there are signs.

But that's just me.

I can't think of anything else you might want to know this morning, so if you have a question, ask it.  I'll answer to the best of my ability.  And here's a question for you:  What was something that happened to you because of something stupid you did?  How'd that work out for you?

Oh, and if you're interested in learning more about genies, snag a copy of B.E.'s book, Wish in One Hand.  If you like it, leave a review, tell your friends, etc.  If all goes well, she might let me star in another book or two or a dozen.

Character Profile: Meet Ezekiel ben Aron

Ezekiel ben Aron

born: before Atlantis sunk beneath the waves, an original Israelite

Hair: curly black
Eyes: brown
Height: 6'
Weight: slim

Year of changing: I'm not sure they had calendars back then
Creator: Unknown

Marital status: currently unmarried
Djinn status: Free
Reason for status: He's says 'it's a long story', but I think he'd just prefer not to say.

Current residence: Mansion, south of Denver, CO
Current employment: Owner and proprietor, B.A. Security

Known associates: Hans and Frank (his bodyguards), Mary Killigrew, Jo Mayweather

Pets: After what he's seen and what he knows, he prefers not to have pets.

Character Profile: Meet Jo Mayweather

Josephine Eugenia Mayweather

born: 1904, NYC to Evangeline and Reginald "Reggie" Mayweather

Hair: Brown
Eyes: Brown
Height: 5'8
Weight: Not even if you paid her.

Year of changing:  1924
Creator: Stavros

Marital status: Widowed
Spouse: Benny
Djinn status: Freed and/or Masterless
Reason for freed status: Master expired


Current residence: basement apartment, Mayweather Antiquities, Estes Park, CO
Current employment: Antiques Dealer, owner of Mayweather Antiquities, founder of the Djinn Liberation Network

Known associates: Basil Hadresham, Mena, Mary Killigrew, Renee Turner, Ezekiel ben Aron, Iago Duarte, Michael, Stavros

Pets: Major (a dog of the Kuvasz breed)

Any questions for Jo?

An Interview with Jo Mayweather

Good morning, Everyone.  I decided to sit down today with Jo Mayweather - co-owner of Mayweather Antiquities.

Hello, Jo.  :passes her a large mug of coffee:  Thanks for taking a moment to chat with me this morning.

When you said you wanted to do this, I had no idea you meant this early. :guzzles coffee and magically refills her own cup: So how does this work? What do you want to know?

Is it true you're a genie?

Djinn.

What?

Sorry. Old habits die hard.  The olde guarde prefers to be called djinn.  Genie works for me.  And yes, I am one. 

So you have to grant me three wishes?

:cringes:  No.  You're not a Master, so the Rules don't apply.  If you're nice and I think you really need it, I might nudge a little somethin-somethin your way, but there's no guarantee.

You say 'rules' like they're something special.

There is.  The big R rules were crafted by the gods who created us to keep us in line and stop us from unmaking the universe.  You can't break them even if you want to.

And they are?

Stuff like 'no altering time', 'no bringing people back from the dead', 'no harming mortals'... 

But that last one isn't hard and fast, is it?

Pretty much. I mean, it's generally frowned upon, but a genie could still get around it if they had a mind to.  It's like this.  I can't use a wish to cause harm to someone.  However, I could use a wish to light a fire that might harm someone, or drop a building on them which would cause harm, or create a sudden lightning storm that might fry someone's ass, but I can't say "I wish your head would explode".

What would happen if you did?

Nothing.  The gods would laugh maybe.  I'd look like an idiot.  If I really wanted to hurt someone, I'd have to use the old-fashioned way.  By hand.  Or weapon. 

Would you?

Do I look like a bully?  Genie versus human would not be fair.  We're faster, stronger, etc. Plus nothing hurts us for long.  Super mad healing skills in the djinn world.

Good to know. But enough about that. Let's talk about Jo the person. So, what kind of music do you like?

I listen to just about everything.  It's one of the quirks of living this many years.  I roll with the musical tastes of the age.  It'd be easier to tell you what I don't like. 

Okay, so what don't you like?

Death metal.  My creator, Stavros, was into that shit before humans even conceived of it.  I wouldn't be surprised if he started the whole genre of music.  Asshole.  I also can't really listen to music from my human life. 

Hits from the 1920s? Why?

They make me homesick and a little wistful.  Who needs that?

Dog or cat?

Dog.  Cats and genies don't really get along.  I think they know we're not natural.

Favorite libation?

Libation?  What are you, a writer or something?  I drink gin.  It's a throwback to my humanity, but a gal's gotta stick to what she likes.  I also drink coffee. Lots of it. :a large coffee maker appears beside us:  Want some?  It's hazelnut.

Don't mind if I do.  Quick question.  Do you wish for everything or is this just a coffee thing?

I try to work for what I have.  But when the need arises, I'm not above using a little power.  This? :she waves toward the machine:  I'll unmake it when we're through.  I already have one of my own and wishing isn't about how many goodies I can clutter my home up with.

Then what do you think wishing is about?

I'm not quite sure.  All I know is the gods put us here - probably for their own amusement - and we should do more with our immortality than simply fritter it away.  Put in a little effort.  Enrich our minds rather than just our bank accounts.

So you're against wishing for money?

Totally.  Besides, the Council would have a genie's ass if they caught him.  Nothing alerts humanity to our existence faster than things that shouldn't be there suddenly appearing.  Money is one of those things that gets tracked by the human world.  And when humans start sniffing around, the djinn-world gets pissy.

Can't you just wish up some gold?

And upset the world's financial balance?  Yeah, that's a good idea.  Right.

Favorite food?

Wow, talk about a topic shift.  Waffles. I love waffles.

Yeah, I spend a lot of time at Short Attention Span Theater.  Sorry about that.  I just have questions I'd like you to answer, but I keep getting distracted.

No problem. What's next on the list?

Favorite book?

All of them.  Nearly unlimited lifespan equals a lot of reading time.  I remember once, in the 1960s, I spent a month reading 24/7.

Hey, listen, this has been fun and all, but I have to scoot.  I have a stack of papyrus I need to sort through, Major needs a walk, Basil and I have a meeting at ten that I'm not prepared for... something about a new masterless djinn with an attitude problem...

Life as a genie isn't one of leisure, I take it.

Not hardly.  I have a business to run and genies to rescue.  

Well, thanks for joining me today.  I hope you'll come back soon and chat some more.  Oh, she's already gone.  

Do you have any questions for Jo?  I'm sure I'll get her to stop in and answer them at some point.

And if you'd like to know more about Josephine Mayweather, her business, her mission, and her stories,  Wish in One Hand is available for pre-order and launches on the 18th.

Cover Concept Reveal

I have the cover for Wish in One Hand.  Since the launch for that book is still at least 6 weeks off, I'm going to make myself hold off showing the actual cover for a little while yet.  But rather than make you all stew, here's the concept I sent to the artist when I first hired him:

And now you know for certain why I pay someone else to do my cover art. 

The cover art itself will be along once I get closer to having something y'all can buy. He did a good job keeping to my overall concept and making it not look like shit.

FYI, not all my drawings are this bad. 

Do you draw?

Trying New Things

In the interest of mixing things up a bit and trying new things, I'd like to devote a post each week to another writer or a book or a series of books I enjoy that maybe might be overlooked or underrated or whatever.  I know the following here isn't huge.  I'd like to rectify that, but I can only do what I can do.  Having said that, though, maybe my little blog will do someone some good someday.

To that end, I'd like to take a moment and plug a series that really hasn't been getting the attention it should be getting.  You may all know my friend, JB Lynn, and her awesome Neurotic Hitwoman series, but did you know she also writes a Matchmaker Mystery series.  She spun it off the Neurotic Hitwoman universe, but only the character, Armani, is a fixture in the Matchmaker Mystery series, too. 

Anyway, her third book in this new series is coming out shortly, and I think you all should give the series a try.  It's fun and quirky with romance and mystery and pets!  I love the characters and the writing and they're just good books to lose myself in from time to time. 

The first book is The Mutt and the Matchmaker.  The second is A Match Made in Mystery.  And the soon-to-be-published book is Catnapped!  Good stuff all the way through.

So, if you're in the market for a fun read, give JB's Matchmaker series a try. 

Oh, and before I forget, speaking of new things, if you scroll back up to the top there, you'll see a new tab.  Click it and it takes you to the sign-up form for my newsletter.  I promise not to mailbomb you or be annoying.  Just news and updates and contests and junk. 

Pavlov's Writer

Taking a break from Wicked Wednesday today to discuss something else...

Long long ago in another life, I was a psychology major in college.  (Yeah, yeah... let the jokes commence - later.)  And something struck me the other day.

Ever heard of classical conditioning?  You know, Pavlov and his whole drooling dog shtick?  That.  Anyway, part of it has to do with intermittent reward or punishment and, if I remember correctly, how when the reward or punishment isn't consistent it can actually increase the behavior.  (After a certain time of being consistent, that is.)  Think of it as a child wants a candy bar at the store, and you say no, so he screams and you give it to him.  The next time maybe you say no three times but still give in and give him the candy bar.  The next time he will scream his fool head off until you give in.  If you stay strong through, you can decrease the behavior until it becomes intermittent.  But the one time you give in, that behavior comes back stronger than before.

That's a simplification, but you get the gist.  And I have a point.  Here it is...

When I first launched Dying Embers for sale, I checked my sales data constantly and I was rewarded consistently.  Soon, the rewards (sales) became inconsistent, but I still checked the data constantly.  Over this last week, the rewards dropped off entirely and thus, my checking the data dropped off to once a day.  (Cuz really who needs that depressing data staring at you throughout the day?)  Then I checked my data yesterday morning, and I had a sale!  And the constant checking behavior swooped right back.  :eyeroll: 

Like Pavlov's dog, there I was drooling away, waiting for my next reward.  

Does any of this ring a bell?  :smirk:

Seriously, though, ever experience this?  What's ringing your bell? 

Covers and Tagline and Blurbs, Oh My!

In case you missed it yesterday, when I did a sort of soft cover reveal on The Writing Spectacle, here's the cover:

I don't know if it's 100% finished, but there it is.

Last night, I sent off the tagline and the blurb to my cover artist so he could incorporate them into additional materials.  You know how when you look at a word or phrase over and over it begins to look weird?  (By the end of the cover decisions, DYING EMBERS looked like it was spelled wrong when it wasn't.)  Well, for me, that tends to bleed over into total uncertainty - where nothing looks right.  I know I spent so much time thinking about the tagline/blurb, and looking at them and tweaking them over the weekend that I kind of went a little loopy.  Hubs and I were making up jokey ones and cracking each other up.

"Burn me once, I'll burn you twice."
"Got that burning sensation?"
"Revenge is a dish best served with a side of fire."
"Fire: It's what's for dinner."
"Who's up for car-be-que?"

So now I'm offering you a chance to be silly.  What's a whacky tagline you would use for a book about revenge and payback and fire and fear?