All Sixteen Now Available in Paperback

All sixteen of my novels are available in paperback now.  Mission accomplished.  Now I need to get off my ever-widening ass and write another book.  (Yes, the proofs have their own table and are held in place by two gnomes.)

Serial Crime Investigation Unit (S.C.I.U.)

Dying Embers

Fertile Ground

Early Grave

Dennis Haggarty Mysteries

Accidental Death

Natural Causes

Duke Noble, P.I.

Rumor Has It

Once Upon a Djinn

Wish in One Hand

In Deep Wish

Up Wish Creek

Wish Hits the Fan

A Model Curse

Sleeping Ugly

Ugly and the Beast

Cinder Ugly

Single Title

Project Hermes

Blink of an I

Unequal

New Release from Silver James

If you've been around here long enough, you know how much I love Silver and her books.  (Actually, part of the reason I love her is her books.  Not sure how I could like a person when I don't like their books, but that's another blog post.) 

Anyway...

Silver had a new book release yesterday - FIGHTING FOR ELENA.  Of course, I one-clicked it over at Amazon and then started reading it.  (Pushing another book aside which I will get back to after I finish FFE.)   I'm only a chapter in (because life, not because of the book), but it's darn good so far.  Natch.

It's a romantic suspense with some ties into her other books and ties into this series with ties into another series.  It's pretty tied in there. 

I'm really looking forward to inhaling this.  Silver's books usually only take me a day, if I'm not having life stuff and the creek don't rise.  Yesterday, I spent so much time working on clearing the woods that my hands were claws and holding my Kindle was problematic.  Anyway...

If you're into romantic suspense, snag a copy of this book, read it and love it, then leave a review.  Then, if you've got the fundage, read the rest of the series and then Silver's other books.  You won't be sorry.  I'll post my review on Saturday's Reading Wrap-up because it would take a major event for me to not finish this by then. 

Oh, and I just remembered that when I read the Acknowledgements in this book, she mentioned me!  Yay!  :blushes:

Okay, back to your regularly scheduled lives... And don't forget to go one-click this book.  Seriously. 

Well, Derp

So, I went to the NaNoWriMo site.  Of course, I'd forgotten my password and had to reset it.  I couldn't even remember the last time I did NaNo.

Literally.

According to the NaNo site, I wrote a YA Fantasy in 2013.  I don't even remember writing a YA fantasy, but according to them, I won with over 51K words.  For a moment, I wondered if someone had hacked my NaNo and written a book under my name.  Seriously.  But that's not bloody likely, so I checked the keeper of all things - my blog.  Sure enough, back in 2013, there I am talking about this YA fantasy I was working on in November of that year. 

I had no clue.  I eventually found it in a file marked Untitled YA Fantasy.  Derp.  Naturally.  I opened the file and started to read it.  I only vaguely remember it, but more like a book I once read than a book I freakin' wrote. 

I jumped to the end.  Sure enough, never finished it.  I left myself with a note to figure out what the MC's decision is. 

Needless to say, I'm mortified.  I can't believe I wrote 55K words on a book and I don't even remember doing it.  Couldn't tell you what the plot is.  Don't remember the characters.  Don't remember the world.  I'm searching my memory banks and it's just not there. 

Brain damage.  That's all I can throw out in my defense. 

Of course, 2013 was the year I moved and a lot of crap was going on - most of which I don't remember either. 

It's like forgetting one of your children.  Lucky for me, I only have one.  Kind of hard to forget one.  Books?  I've published 13 and written at least a half-dozen I haven't published.  So, this one apparently fell into the black hole of my brain.  And right now, I do not have time to think about it or look at it.  I'm supposed to be getting myself in a place where I can write a new book.

Hopefully, this new one will be memorable.  Derp.

Pondering

I saw something yesterday that asked what current books we thought would be considered classics in 100 years.  I didn't bother seeing what other people were saying might be classic because that would just be depressing, but it did get me to thinking.

I don't write classics for the most part.  I expect that as long as I keep advertising the books, people will keep buying them for 5-10 years.  But classic?  Not really.  The SCIU series and the OUAD series are entertainment.  So's the Sleeping Ugly series if I ever get it past the first book. 

I'd like for Project Hermes to achieve the sort of status of Patriot Games, but I'm not fooling myself.  It'll never be a movie. 

If 100 years from now people pick up Blink of an I or Unequal and think 'wow', I'd be happy.  Then again, I'll be dead, so it probably won't matter much.  Still, I'd like for those to be classics someday.  Again, not fooling myself here.

I wonder what the authors of 100 years ago thought about their books.  Were they thinking 'this is going to be a classic' or were they just hoping to make enough money to pay the rent? 

A lot has changed since then.  I mean, all of the books of 100 years ago were paper.  And they all had to wait for some publishing company to recognize their brilliance so the masses could even have a chance of reading their books.  Now?  No waiting, but also way harder to get noticed and get read by even a portion of the masses. 

I'm sure there are a wealth of awesome books out there withering on the wine.  Mine could be several of them.  And the world will never know they existed. 

Don't mind me, I'm just pondering this morning.  Since I don't really read books anyone might consider potential future classics*, let me know if you've read anything new you think might fit the bill. 

*In case you don't follow The Writing Spectacle, where I talk about my reading habits, I primarily read either old books or new ones that are underappreciated.  When I do pick up a newer traditionally published book, it's from a thrift store. 

Stuffs

With my other work project finally finished, for now at least, I can focus on my actual work stuff again.  Having said this, though, I realize I am playing catch-up.  I do have a book releasing this week - Early Grave (Book three of my Serial Crimes Investigation Unit series).  Over the weekend, I made a Goodreads listing for it, so that's something.

I know some of you weren't keen on the blurb, but I went with it.  It's in line with the blurbs from the other two.  (I changed the blurb for Fertile Ground, so it's more in line, too.  And creepier.  Can't help the creepy.)

I'm also hip deep in the final edits of Early Grave.  I should have those done over the next couple days and then I'll format.  And THEN I'll upload it to Amazon and make it live so all y'all can finally snag a copy.  So, Friday's still a good day for release and it'll be live earlier if I can swing it.  It's going into the world at $2.99.

BTW, if you missed it, FG is on sale all month worldwide.  It's 99c here in the US and all other prices are adjusted accordingly.  Dying Embers will be free sometime next week (I have to wait until my KDP 90 days is over on Wednesday and after EG is live to set that up.)

I have ideas for three more Dennis Haggarty mysteries.  I still have to write them, so don't look for those any time soon.  Next year maybe.

The way Sleeping Ugly is currently written, it will be a new series.  Which means I'd better get some ideas for subsequent books soon or rewrite SU so it's a standalone.

And I'm still planning on putting Unequal into the world either late this year or early next.  Another dystopian.  Weeee.

So much in my head and so little time to get it all done.  I need a clone.  Or a way to work more hours without going batshit crazy. 

Any questions? 

I Miss Libraries

When I was a mid-sized lass, I would spend hours in the library.  I would've lived in my elementary school library if they'd allowed it.  What a place of joy and wonder.  Then I discovered the public library.  I would've happily lived there, too.  Surrounded by my friends, the books.  I could walk in there and wander through, picking out any books I wanted without interruption or distraction. 

For me, it was mostly the paperback section I was interested in.  Science fiction and fantasy, for the most part, and romance or suspense or mystery.  Anything I wanted, there it was.  I'd even occasionally pick up a non-fiction, although my selections there tended more toward nature than anything else.  Books, though.  And quiet.

That's what a library is to me.  And I miss that.

The last several times I was in a library, there was a big bank of computers taking up valuable book space.  And at the screens, people who could really have cared less about books.  They were playing games or searching the web or writing resumes. There were also kids running around or playing with toys.  Books forgotten.

That makes me sad.

When I was young, all I had to do was give them my name and address, and they presented me with a card so that I could check out any book I wanted.  I tried to get a card at the local library here.  They wanted physical proof I lived here in the form of a utility bill - my driver's license with a local address and checks with a local address were apparently insufficient proof.  Why all hullabaloo?  So I didn't make off with any of their books permanently.  As if.

That also makes me sad.

There's a meme going around FB.  Something about sharing to prove libraries are still relevant.  Except they aren't.  The libraries I loved are gone.  People can get books anywhere they want - for free or for cheap.  I can go to Amazon right now and download a dozen in less time than it would take me to warm up my car for the half-hour trip to the library.  And no one harasses me while I'm doing it.

The libraries of today?  They're social gathering places and internet cafes, with books on the side as decoration. 

One of the last times I was in a library, at least a couple years ago, they were having a book sale.  The entire basement was filled with books for sale.  And I would venture that there were more books on the shelves in the basement than were on the shelves for patrons upstairs.  But the sale was to raise money to build a newer and bigger library, which will probably have more space for computers and social things.  :heavy sigh:  I rescued a huge box full of the titles.  Not to help them build a new library but to rescue the tomes from people who didn't appreciate them.

When I first published my own books, I took copies to the local libraries.  I was so full of joy and naivete, waiting for them to show up on the shelves and in their catalog system.  They never did.  One of my library donated books made it into the paper in their 'new on the shelves' article.  They spelled my name wrong.  I never went back.

I have my own library now.  Shelves and shelves of my friends.  It's not the same as the old library I used to love, but it's better than the libraries of today.  Quiet, solitude, and books. 

Father's Day Weekend Sale

Hey All!  I just thought I'd drop in and let y'all know that starting tomorrow, through the weekend (6/17-6/19/17), my Once Upon a Djinn series will be having a sale.  Well, kind of a sale.  Wish in One Hand will be free, and the other two (In Deep Wish / Up Wish Creek) will be 99c/.99p.

If you know anything about Jo, you know she has some serious father issues.  Hell, if it weren't for her father, she wouldn't be a genie, so there wouldn't be any genie books.  Jus' sayin'.  So, it seemed fitting to have a sale on these books for Father's Day.  If you don't know anything about Jo, now's your time to find out.

And for those of you waiting patiently (or not so) for the final book - Wish Hits the Fan - it IS written.  It just needs to be edited.  Which I am working on.  Slowly, but I am working on it.  All will be made clear, the threads will be tied up, and this will be the end of this arc in Jo's story.

And just so ya know, Wish Hits the Fan picks up exactly where Up Wish Creek left off. 

I was shooting for August before everything writerly sort of fell apart.  Now, I'm hoping for September.  Sorry about that.  Really I am.  I hate that I may have disappointed any of you.

Anyway, tell your friends.  Buy lots of copies (so I can pay my editor for her work on Wish Hits the Fan).  And enjoy the story!

What's Going On

I got my newsletter out yesterday.  If you didn't get one, check your spam folder.  If you still didn't get one, and you know you signed up, let me know.  If you haven't signed up for a newsletter, shame on you.  Just kidding.  But you are missing out on some 'subscriber only' stuff.  Like a first look at the cover and the blurb.  And chances at an early copy of my latest books or free swag.

I'll release the cover and the blurb worldwide on Friday.

My final round of edits came back from AWE last night.  I read through her edit letter and it all seems good.  I have plans to get Fertile Ground ready to publish by the 16th - whether I set it for pre-order so it goes live on the 26th or I just release it into the wild like an eagle who's been held captive, I don't know.  Either way, I hope it's maiden flight doesn't result in a crash.

I have a winner for my Goodreads contest for a copy of In Deep Wish.  I'll package that for shipment today, along with a book for my editor (I'm such a slacker) and a copy of Dying Embers for an injured police officer in TX to help with his recovery. (He likes mystery, suspense, and crime, so I offered to send a book.)

I need to order postcards for Fertile Ground and create new bookmarks.  If you want one of my old pre-'Fertile Ground' bookmarks, let me know. 

I feel like I'm forgetting something.  Not surprising, since forgetting something is a natural state for me. 

Anyway, have an awesome Monday and stop back on Friday for the cover reveal for Fertile Ground.

Debunking Erroneous Ideas

Okay, so I've been hearing about this article that some chick wrote for the HuffPo.  Now, I didn't read it in its entirety.  Frankly, the only parts of it I did read were in a post by another author who took time out of his busy schedule to fisk her. 

Apparently, this person got her undies in a wad over people who write fast or publish lots or whatever.  According to her, writing a book should take years and should be labored over like Hercules cleaning stables or some such rot.  And if you write in quantity, your books will obviously be of lesser quality.  (She should take a look at Asimov.  I've heard he averaged 8-9 books a year. But then again, he wrote... science fiction... :gasp: which should never be confused with literature. Right?  :smirk:)

Specifically, her bad number was four books a year.  Heh.  Just so happens, my plan is to put out four books a year.  What a coinkydink.  She says writers should maybe MAYBE put out one book a year.  To truly savor the experience and give the readers something drawn from our souls with a pen-shaped hypodermic.

:eyeroll:

She also totally shits on self-publishing and calls us all hacks.  (Even though she, in fact, is a self-published author.  Self-hatred is such a sad thing.)  :shrug:  I've been called worse by better people.

Yeah, thanks for the advice, chicky-poo, but I'll let the market tell me whether I'm a hack.  So far, sales are telling me I write well and the reviews ain't bad neither.  And readers are telling me - in person, in FB message, in reviews - they want sequels to the books I already have out, and they want them NOW.  They're willing to wait 6 months, maybe, but they don't have to like it.  And there's plenty to distract them while I'm dragging my feet, so I'd better get cracking.

In other news, I read an article recently that talked about how ebook sales are falling and so is the sky.  I reserved judgment until the real facts came out over at Author Earnings.  Turns out ebook sales overall are hunky-dory - when you add in indie books, of course.  Traditionally published ebook sales are off.  Natch.  And since the same companies that own the big dogs own the media outlets reporting the 'news', they're going to spin it their own way. 

Again, the market pretty much tells you what you need to know, if you're willing to listen.  Readers are still reading.  They're just reading less-expensive, but still quality, independent books rather than shell out double or triple for a traditionally published book.  I can live with that.

One thing that particularly tickled me about the AE report is they refer to people like me as being in the "Shadow Industry". Makes me feel all mysterious and stealthy. 

Only The Shadow knows how satisfying self-publishing is.  ;o)

Books, Books, Books... I'm Addicted

Hi.  My name is B.E. and I'm addicted to buying books.  I've been to my dealer twice in the past week.  She knows what I like and she has the goods, baby.

I thought I had the habit kicked.  Lord knows, I have enough books already... heh, as if... and if I started reading what I already have and read them straight through at my usual rate of 100 a year, it would take me probably 3-6 years to read them all.  (With time off for good behavior.)

True, I haven't read many books in the past month.  This always occurs when I'm getting ready to launch a book.  But now that Accidental Death is out there, I have time.  Time to read.  Ahhh.  (Unfortunately, that phrase brings to mind that episode of The Twilight Zone where Burgess Meredith is the only man left on Earth and has all the time in the world to read, but then he breaks his glasses. :shudder:)

Anyway, there's this little bookstore near here.  Used books.  A favorite fix for my addiction.  Old used books.  :sniff sniff snort inhale passoutfromecstasy:  I picked up three Mickey Spillanes, a copy of The Thin Man by Dashiell Hammett, two Ray Bradburys, and an author I've never heard of but whose post-apocalyptic premise sounds awesome.  They're on the shelves with the haul I got last week from my dealer - the first three Dragonlance books, a couple SF by Sarah A. Hoyt, and... and...

You know, the first sign of an addict is an inability to remember the details of their last hit. 

Another sign is when you're on your way somewhere else, but you see your dealer and then the other errands get forgotten.  Like stopping by the library where I had planned on donating a copy of Dying Embers.  The library will still be there next time I'm in town.  Too bad I have to pass the book shop on the way there.  Every freakin' time.

Of course, I don't actually need to go anywhere to get my jones on.  Amazon one-click gives me the rush I crave - just not as sweet as holding a used book in my hand.  I picked up a couple books there last week, too.  Night Shift by Silver James, and Hit and Run by Allison Brennan and Laura Griffin.  I was treating myself.  Too bad, that's where the bender originated.

And this morning, I get a notification that a book I had my dealer keeping an eye out for arrived in the store yesterday after I left.  Crap.  It'll take tremendous willpower not to drive down there today - even though it's a book I've already read and have in Kindle format.  It's just one of my favorite books, in the original cover.  I just want it to have on my shelf, so I can pet it when I want to.

Yeah...

Hi.  I'm B.E. and I'm a book buying addict.

The first step, or so I've heard, is admitting you have a problem. 

Monday Stuff and a Series Recommendation - Part 2

Hey all.

Yesterday I finished the round of edits so I could ship Accidental Death off to my editor for proofreading and junk.  Then I went to the convenience store and bought a half-gallon of overpriced ice cream, two bags of chocolate covered stuff (raisins and peanuts) and two Choco-Tacos.  That's how I roll, baby.

Now I have a boatload of other stuff to concentrate on - cover stuff, marketing stuff, newsletter stuff, etc.  But I'm cool with it.  Life as a self-published author and all that.  It means you have to do all the things a publisher would normally do without the hassle of them telling you how you should do it.  ;o)

It can be a hassle, but it's still more freeing than drudgery, so I'm cool with it.

If you want any more information about the upcoming release of Accidental Death, please sign up for my newsletter.  I expect a maiden voyage on that thing May 1st.

Now, for the series recommendation thing.  As you have all probably guessed, I love Silver James like a sister.  And not just because she writes awesome novels - which she totally does.  Today, I'd like to recommend to you all her Moonstruck series.

It's sexy supernatural romantic suspense action adventure political intrigue.  Yeah, that's a lot of genres there, but Silver rocks them all.  You see, there are these werewolves who work for the government in a secret military group - well, until the government screws them over and then a clandestine agency is tracking them, and another super-sekrit company tries using them for experiments.  It's wild.  And in each individual book, one of the Wolves finds his mate for life.  So, the intrigue and the action and explosions are woven tightly with a romance plotline.  (Yes, there are explosions.  Woohoo!)

Silver manages to wrap each book up by the end and provide us with a happily-ever-after for the main characters of the book, but still leaves a thread so the books all tie together into one cohesive storyline.  There's fun stuff and happy stuff and shocking stuff and heart-rending bits.  Silver hits her readers with the full gambit of emotions, but she doesn't let them down. 

And... What?  You thought it couldn't get any better? ...  Well, she's getting ready to release a new series about Wolves - with cameos from the Moonstruck characters.  This time, they're biker Wolves.  And they kick ass.  They're the Nightriders MC. I've seen the cover for her first installment - Night Shift - and it totally rocks  So keep an eye on her page for updates as to when that will be out.  Sometime this month, but not sure of exactly when.

Quantity vs Quality: The False Debate

Since I began researching self-publishing late last year, I've noticed a lot of people saying that in order to be successful at this, you have to increase your output. Having a healthy backlist means readers can find all the things they want to read of what you've written.  And putting another book out not too long after the last gives them a more immediate gratification.  All sound thinking, in my opinion.

But invariably, any conversation about increasing the quantity of your work leads someone to bring up damage to the quality of your work.  They assert that there is no way anyone could possibly write well when writing fast.  They assume anything put out quickly is crap.

Well, I guess that depends on your definition of quickly and your definition of crap. 

Agatha Christie wrote about 3 books every two years.  Not exactly speedy, but she was working on a typewriter and she wasn't exactly a spring chicken.

Of course, some people think mystery is crap, so they would discount her writing.

Barbara Cartland wrote 722 books and holds the Guinness Book of World Records for most novels written in one year - which was a whopping 23, btw.  Nora Roberts has written over 200 books since she started and she's still going strong.

Then again, some people detest romance, so their writing would also be discounted.

Isaac Asimov put out 506 books between 1920 and 1992.  Seven books a year.  Not too shabby.  Especially on a typewriter.  Some would say he doesn't count because he wrote SF, but they'd have to shut their mouths because the man wrote across a broad spectrum of genres.  Still, he wrote a lot of shorter stuff, and even if he didn't the naysayers would find a way to ignore his vast body of work because it doesn't fit in with their supposition of 'quantity kills quality'.

Now, I'm not saying all fast work is good work.  Obviously, it's not.  There are writers out there doing shoddy work - and the market pretty much fixes their little red wagons.  (Except when it goes gaga over the work... but that's the way the market bounces sometimes.)  On the other hand, there are people who are putting out one book every five years and they're writing crap, too. 

My point is this: High quantity does not guarantee low quality anymore than low quantity guarantees high quality. 

Well, unless you're kind of pretentious. 

Anyway, there are plenty of quality writers out there.  Okay, maybe not The Great American Novel writers, but good, enjoyable work that doesn't make you want to rip you eyes out because - to paraphrase E.B. White - they've dragged you through "...a series of hazardous or grotesque syntactical situations."

So, like I said up there in the post title, the whole quantity versus quality thing is a false debate in my opinion.  The real thing we all should be thinking of is whether we're pleasing our readers.  They're the reason we write, after all.  And if the readers are happy, then writers should be happy, too. Right?

Trying New Things

In the interest of mixing things up a bit and trying new things, I'd like to devote a post each week to another writer or a book or a series of books I enjoy that maybe might be overlooked or underrated or whatever.  I know the following here isn't huge.  I'd like to rectify that, but I can only do what I can do.  Having said that, though, maybe my little blog will do someone some good someday.

To that end, I'd like to take a moment and plug a series that really hasn't been getting the attention it should be getting.  You may all know my friend, JB Lynn, and her awesome Neurotic Hitwoman series, but did you know she also writes a Matchmaker Mystery series.  She spun it off the Neurotic Hitwoman universe, but only the character, Armani, is a fixture in the Matchmaker Mystery series, too. 

Anyway, her third book in this new series is coming out shortly, and I think you all should give the series a try.  It's fun and quirky with romance and mystery and pets!  I love the characters and the writing and they're just good books to lose myself in from time to time. 

The first book is The Mutt and the Matchmaker.  The second is A Match Made in Mystery.  And the soon-to-be-published book is Catnapped!  Good stuff all the way through.

So, if you're in the market for a fun read, give JB's Matchmaker series a try. 

Oh, and before I forget, speaking of new things, if you scroll back up to the top there, you'll see a new tab.  Click it and it takes you to the sign-up form for my newsletter.  I promise not to mailbomb you or be annoying.  Just news and updates and contests and junk. 

The Long Look Back and Moving Forward

Next month will mark the 11th year since I started writing seriously.  Well, actually next month marks when I started what would become my first novel.  I didn't get serious about it until a month later when I realized I'd been working on it more diligently than anything I'd started before.  The rest is history, but hey, maybe you'd like to see some of that history.

So, here are my timeline of books written - and partially written - in as close as I can remember to the order I wrote them in:

2004 The Comet - which then became several other titles before being shopped as Spectacle... which then became Fear Itself.  (suspense)

2005 Caldera - which is now Nature of Destruction.  (suspense)

2006 Be Careful What You Wish For - unfinished (SF)

2006 Blink of an I (dystopian)

2006 Wrongful Termination - written but not edited - working on it (suspense)

2007 Redemption - unfinished (SF)

2007  Nanotechnology - now Bloodflow - written and working on edits (suspense)

2007  Cut & Dried - unfinished (mystery)

2007  RTL (dystopian)

2008 Manhunter - now Dying Embers. (suspense)

2008  Fertile Ground - unfinished but still working on (suspense)

2009 Djinnocide - written all the way through one way, then all the way through another way (both in 3rd person).  Rewritten all the way through in 1st person. (urban fantasy)

2010 Unequal - written but not edited, but I'm working on it (dystopian)

2011 Darklings Rise - unfinished (fantasy)

2012 Djinn 2 - written but not edited - will edit in 2016 (urban fantasy)

2013 Sleeping Ugly - unfinished (urban fantasy)

2014 Djinn 3 - written but not edited - due to edit 2016 (urban fantasy)

2014 Arthurian UF - this one is partially done and I'm still really excited about it, but now I'm way too busy.  Maybe in 2015, I'll find time.

So there you have it.  With a few short stories scattered along the way, and a few miscues on damn near everything, and a few started but never got more than a few pages in, so why mention those. 

Several of these have been queried and submitted, to no avail.  So that's why I'm moving forward with self-publishing.  I believe in my books.  All of my books.  The reason I'm moving ahead with Dying Embers is that right now, it's the one I thought was closest to being ready for publication (boy, was I wrong... so much editing... ugh) and it's also not currently out with any publishers. 

Like I've said before - but it bears repeating - this is MY journey.  Every writer is different.  For instance, I'm what they call a 'dirty drafter'.  I don't edit while I write the first draft.  (Well, no more than rewording as I go along if I catch something in the moment - like writing this blog post.)  Which is why there's a lot of stuff up there that says 'not edited'.  You mileage probably varies wildly. 

And it's also why my production looks like it slowed down.  I've been trying to edit the things I never really edited.  So no new writing for me until I eat my peas.  (Yeah peas = editing for me.)

So there ya go.  My writing life in a timeline form. 

Thoughts?  And please keep your snarky to yourself.  If you don't understand this is how I and I alone write, keep it to yourself.  It won't be posted anyway.

My blog, my rules.  I don't come to your house and tell you how to exist.  So there.  =op


I still feel like I'm missing someone - like the movie Home Alone, when the parents THINK they have all the kids, but they left one behind.