Friday, March 1, 2019

The Hellbeast

At a loss for anything to blog about today, I decided to post a short snippet and let you see how I ended up describing the hellbeast. 

“What in the farque is a hellbeast?”  I blinked my eyes and looked at the thing again.  “It’s pink, for petesakes.”  And not the normal shade of pretty pink.  This had ‘burn your eyes out’ neon pink blotches with squiggles in ‘aerobics-chick hot-pink leotard’ over a mauve background.  And the body?  It looked like a longhorn bull screwed a poodle and their baby grew up to have unnatural liaisons with a lizard.  The front had a pointy snout like a standard poodle and horns like a bull.  The whole huge body was alternately covered in curly hair and scales.  At the end was a scaly, whip-like tail. 
“Of course, it’s pink.  What color did you think hell would be?” Oliver said.  “From what I understand, hellbeasts blend right in on that plane.”
I did not want to know how he would know what hell might look like.  Probably something sorcerous I wasn’t privy to yet.  “So, the Sorcerer summoned him from hell and sent him after me?”
It stomped the ground with its dark pink hooves and raised its head to sniff at the air. 
“He’s gonna smell us in here.  What the fuck do we do now?”  I thought about all the perfumes I’d ever worn and wished I had a gallon of all of them in front of me.  All I had was one tiny bottle of minty breath spray.  Snatching it from my purse, I squirted it everywhere I could until it was only farting air.
“What are you doing?” the cat asked.
“Masking my scent.”
“It’s not looking for you, silly.”
I chanced a glance out the window again.  It was kind of sniffing in our general direction, but it was shaking its head as if it wasn’t latching onto the right odor.  Then it walked right into the cloud of Sorcerer scent.  The sneeze it let out blew the remaining glass out of a nearby window.  Once it left the cloud, it seemed to shake off the last of its effects and start scenting the air again.  A long, forked tongue darted out.  Once.  Twice. 
Then it let out a howl and sprang forward.
I almost screamed as it landed ten feet from my hiding spot.  “It’s coming,” I said on a hiss of breath. 
At that point I almost pissed myself.  I tried to think of the spell I’d used to start a fire once, but nothing was coming to me.  When this was over, if I survived and wasn’t turned into hellbeast sausage snacks, I was definitely learning more magic.  Ass-kicking magic.

I hope you enjoyed it.  I got kinda off track last month, so I'm not done with the first draft yet.  Soon.  Honest.  I'm gonna put my head down this weekend and bust my ass.  Good lord willin' and the creek don't rise.


  1. Replies
    1. Thanks, Deb! I hope to have this to readers before summer begins.

  2. Ahahahahahahaha!!! Love it! And well done on the hellbeast. :)