I gave Hubs the first go at the blurb. He was very diplomatic. Which means it sucked*. I knew it sucked, so it wasn't a big surprise. I was just having a tough time discerning HOW it sucked and thus, make it not suck. Pushing past his diplomacy, I got to the root of the problem - it wasn't tight and grabby. (My words, not his.)
I thought about how to fix it. I sat down last night and wrote three slightly different versions. And I gave them to him. Poor man. He read one and set it aside immediately. The other two he looked over carefully and told me either one would work for him.
I thought about the two he chose, considering the merits of both, and tweaked a bit. Here's what I have...
Sara Hughes is dead.
Sara had plans to take her own life. The coroner claims she died in her sleep. Her daughter fears she was murdered. Once Duke Noble, P.I. confirms his suspicions, he's hot on the trail of a killer. But with so many likely suspects, who will get nabbed for the crime? The bully who expects to inherit everything? The spineless toady with the grasping wife? The outrageous divorcée? Duke is a man able to take on whatever the world throws at him, but this time, he's facing something much harder to dodge than bullets and fists… His past.
*After nearly 17 years, I've learned Hubs only gets 'very diplomatic' when he's trying not to hurt my feelings. I told him 'you can't hurt my feelings... I already think it sucks. I just don't know how it sucks so I can fix it'. At which point, he told me and I thanked him for his input. He's so sweet.