Monday, February 5, 2018

But First, Coffee

I was sitting here yesterday morning inputting the edits from AWE when I hit a mental roadblock.  A crisis of confidence, if you will.  Sort of a...

"I can't do this."  "No one will like this."  "OMG, this is so lame."  "I'm going to need at least three more edits to make this anything anyone could even kinda want to read."

So, I walked away.  Not a 'walk away dejected to never return', but a casual stroll to get out of that creepy headspace.  I ate a sweet roll.  I watched some TV.

Someone somewhere (I forget which blog) talked about the whole 'feeling like a fraud' thing the other day.  This is it.  And while I know in my heart that the little voice in my head saying all those things lies like a cheap rug, it still gets me from time to time.


I can't let it stop me.  I can't let it even slow me down.  I have promises to keep.  I have to shut this unproductive brain thing down and move on.

Thank goodness I built some extra time into the publication schedule, though.  Because I do need a little time because it does slow me down.  A little.  And I've already used some of it up dragging my feet because I think my subconscious knew this was coming.


I think I hit on the crux of the problem, the seed - if you will - of my crisis.  I want this book to be perfect.  Perfect.  Every sentence laid out so the reader has perfect clarity.  Which is nigh on to impossible.

As I said before, this is a scary book - for me, as a writer.  This is why.  I don't think I've been this nervous about a book since I finished my first one and sent it off to be ground up by the query machine.

Today.  Today I am committing myself to sitting my ass here for as many hours as it takes to accomplish some actual progress.  Because I will hit my deadline. 

But first, coffee.  

*I actually wrote this post off and on throughout the day yesterday and some this morning.  The first part up to the * was written in the morning.  The next part was written around 2:30pm after several failed attempts to work on editing for more than ten minutes without succumbing to the crisis of confidence again.  Realizing this, however, did not help.  I only managed 21 pages edited yesterday.


  1. Perfectionism is tough to overcome!

    I think if I hit a wall with editing, I'd treat it like a wall with writing...change location, edit differently (do a read-through first without changing anything but typos, work from the back to the front, do an edit just for simple changes, do a read-through and simply make notes of potential changes), set a timer, etc.

    1. You said it.

      Thanks for the advice! Yep, I need to get out of my headspace, however I manage it. This is a final editor edit, so there's not many other ways I can do this. I just need to tell that voice in my head to shut it, input the edits, and be done with it. Then I'll do a final read through for anything glaring and publish this puppy.

  2. Yes, tell that voice to shut the hell up! This is a great book - great story! Now, get it done already ;)

  3. What Janet and Elizabeth said! Try reading it out loud.

    FYI, you are NOT a fraud. You are a talented, conscientious author with great ideas and execution. Now go finish editing the damn book. I want to read it!

    1. I'm plodding along, Silver. It'll be okay.

      Thank you for your awesomeness. I know I'm not a fraud, I just feel like one sometimes. You know how it goes. And I am finishing the edits for the damn book. ;o)

  4. No way are you a fraud!!! Your work is great! I always look forward to your new releases because your books are page-turners.

    btw: I found this book cover article interesting. I don't like most of the designs, but it's something I'll keep in mind this year.

    1. Thanks, Deb! I really appreciate your support and I'm so glad you enjoy my books. :hugs:

      Thanks for the link, too. I already redid the cover and I'm revealing it tomorrow.