Pondering

As the new year approaches, and I am faced with the fact I need to figure out a game plan for it, I'm sitting here pondering what the hell is wrong with me.

I wonder if I could be burned out.  I did publish 4 books last year, after all.  But that feels like an excuse to me.  I published 4 books, but none of them were actually written in 2018. So I can's see how I could possibly be burned out on writing.

It could be sales.  When sales are slow, especially of new releases, I can fall into the 'why bother' mindset.  You know, why bother publishing more books when the books I've already published aren't exactly selling like hotcakes?  But December sales were up and I hit some sales goals and junk, so I'm not sure if it's that this time.

Possibly it's the money angle.  I did some accounting of income versus outgo, and you do not want to see how that turned out.  The ROI for this publishing thing has been pathetic.  I might as well have just gotten the money in cash and flushed it down the toilet.  There are so many other things that money could've been used for.  I've been driving the same car for over 15 years, for petesakes.  Not that I've spent 'new car' amounts of money, but definitely 'used car' amounts.

Might be that I have too many books waiting to be written.  I really should get those sequels to Sleeping Ugly written.  I already have the cover done for #2 and I'm scheduled to have the cover for #3 in March.  But I also have another SCIU waiting to be written and another Dennis Haggarty.  And then there's that dark urban fantasy I've been wanting to finish.  And that first book I still believe it but that needs a shit-ton of editing before I can even think about sending it to the editor.  Gah.

Could it be that I'm putting too much pressure on myself?  Just writing that last paragraph gave me the panics.  But why?  I mean, there are people out there waiting for more books, but it's not like they'll die if I don't put them out.  My sales might die of neglect, but the actual reader won't.  This isn't brain surgery.  Although, in a way, the patient will bleed out if I don't do something...

I don't know.  I know a few of you out there are in the same boat.  I'm just pondering and trying to figure this out.  And maybe my pondering will help others figure their glitches out.  :shrug:  Some good has got to come out of this. 

Eh, one way or the other I'll figure this out.  The sooner the better, but I'm trying not to put too much pressure on myself.  If it weren't so damn cold and/or windy, I'd go fishing and blow the gunk out of my pipes.