Monday, April 2, 2018

The Monkey was Framed

In this morning's news, there's a story about how a monkey supposedly snatched a newborn baby from beside its sleeping mother in some village in India.  They found the baby dead a day or so later in a well just outside the family home.  The baby, of course, showed signs of injury.  They are proposing that the baby was injury because the monkey dropped it and then it ended up in the well. 

As if that didn't send my crime sensors tingling, now the village is protesting to get compensation from the park service because it's their fault the baby died because it's their fault the monkeys are so out of control.

Now, it is not outside the realm of possibility that a monkey did, in fact, kill this baby.  Monkeys are assholes.  

But the more I read, the more suspicious I got that the monkey was framed.

First, monkeys are not known for being quiet.  Mothers, on the other hand, are known for being hypersensitive to any noise generating from or around their newborn babies.  But this mom supposedly slept through the abduction, awaking just in time to see said monkey making off with her child.  Hmm.

Second, they said they searched frantically for this baby, but only noticed it was in the well 24 hours after it had been abducted.  The well, as I noted, was right outside the family home.  And apparently an open-air well so anyone could just look down it and see the baby floating there.  (Which is apparently what finally happened.) 

So, here's what I think actually occurred...  The mother or the father for some reason or other accidentally or on purpose kills the baby.  The villagers don't want to see the parent arrested by the police, so they come up with this monkey story.  Who better to frame than the asshole monkeys, right?  Plus, now the village can sue the park department for compensation. And maybe finally get rid of the furry little buggers who have been plaguing their village.

The Indian authorities are conducting an investigation, but right now, the only suspects they have are the monkeys.  :eyeroll:  We'll see if the truth ever comes out. 


  1. Interesting! Sounds like a crime story twist on "Murders in the Rue Morgue." :) I"m with you...who sleeps through that? Monkeys are no ninjas.

  2. words. And I'm picturing the top of my head exploding with purple smoke coming out a la the commercial. Seriously? Let's hope the authorities are total idiots! Because yeah, I'm with you.

    It's like that story out of California--the family that plunged over the cliffs on Highway 1? Mothers are DRT inside the SUV. Three of the kids are DRT outside the SUV. Three kids missing. No sign of breaking, and Child Protective Services starting an investigation right as the family goes on a road trip? Really?

    *DRT = Dead Right There (That's not a technical term, but a colloquial one used by first responders because it takes a doctor to pronounce death, hence the DOA. Dead On Arrival at the hospital, not the scene.

  3. Totally too weird. Maybe they have to 'believe' the monkey story just to keep the peace. Of course, that makes them look like ninnies.