Wednesday, August 12, 2015

An Interview with Jo Mayweather

Good morning, Everyone.  I decided to sit down today with Jo Mayweather - co-owner of Mayweather Antiquities.

Hello, Jo.  :passes her a large mug of coffee:  Thanks for taking a moment to chat with me this morning.

When you said you wanted to do this, I had no idea you meant this early. :guzzles coffee and magically refills her own cup: So how does this work? What do you want to know?

Is it true you're a genie?



Sorry. Old habits die hard.  The olde guarde prefers to be called djinn.  Genie works for me.  And yes, I am one. 

So you have to grant me three wishes?

:cringes:  No.  You're not a Master, so the Rules don't apply.  If you're nice and I think you really need it, I might nudge a little somethin-somethin your way, but there's no guarantee.

You say 'rules' like they're something special.

There is.  The big R rules were crafted by the gods who created us to keep us in line and stop us from unmaking the universe.  You can't break them even if you want to.

And they are?

Stuff like 'no altering time', 'no bringing people back from the dead', 'no harming mortals'... 

But that last one isn't hard and fast, is it?

Pretty much. I mean, it's generally frowned upon, but a genie could still get around it if they had a mind to.  It's like this.  I can't use a wish to cause harm to someone.  However, I could use a wish to light a fire that might harm someone, or drop a building on them which would cause harm, or create a sudden lightning storm that might fry someone's ass, but I can't say "I wish your head would explode".

What would happen if you did?

Nothing.  The gods would laugh maybe.  I'd look like an idiot.  If I really wanted to hurt someone, I'd have to use the old-fashioned way.  By hand.  Or weapon. 

Would you?

Do I look like a bully?  Genie versus human would not be fair.  We're faster, stronger, etc. Plus nothing hurts us for long.  Super mad healing skills in the djinn world.

Good to know. But enough about that. Let's talk about Jo the person. So, what kind of music do you like?

I listen to just about everything.  It's one of the quirks of living this many years.  I roll with the musical tastes of the age.  It'd be easier to tell you what I don't like. 

Okay, so what don't you like?

Death metal.  My creator, Stavros, was into that shit before humans even conceived of it.  I wouldn't be surprised if he started the whole genre of music.  Asshole.  I also can't really listen to music from my human life. 

Hits from the 1920s? Why?

They make me homesick and a little wistful.  Who needs that?

Dog or cat?

Dog.  Cats and genies don't really get along.  I think they know we're not natural.

Favorite libation?

Libation?  What are you, a writer or something?  I drink gin.  It's a throwback to my humanity, but a gal's gotta stick to what she likes.  I also drink coffee. Lots of it. :a large coffee maker appears beside us:  Want some?  It's hazelnut.

Don't mind if I do.  Quick question.  Do you wish for everything or is this just a coffee thing?

I try to work for what I have.  But when the need arises, I'm not above using a little power.  This? :she waves toward the machine:  I'll unmake it when we're through.  I already have one of my own and wishing isn't about how many goodies I can clutter my home up with.

Then what do you think wishing is about?

I'm not quite sure.  All I know is the gods put us here - probably for their own amusement - and we should do more with our immortality than simply fritter it away.  Put in a little effort.  Enrich our minds rather than just our bank accounts.

So you're against wishing for money?

Totally.  Besides, the Council would have a genie's ass if they caught him.  Nothing alerts humanity to our existence faster than things that shouldn't be there suddenly appearing.  Money is one of those things that gets tracked by the human world.  And when humans start sniffing around, the djinn-world gets pissy.

Can't you just wish up some gold?

And upset the world's financial balance?  Yeah, that's a good idea.  Right.

Favorite food?

Wow, talk about a topic shift.  Waffles. I love waffles.

Yeah, I spend a lot of time at Short Attention Span Theater.  Sorry about that.  I just have questions I'd like you to answer, but I keep getting distracted.

No problem. What's next on the list?

Favorite book?

All of them.  Nearly unlimited lifespan equals a lot of reading time.  I remember once, in the 1960s, I spent a month reading 24/7.

Hey, listen, this has been fun and all, but I have to scoot.  I have a stack of papyrus I need to sort through, Major needs a walk, Basil and I have a meeting at ten that I'm not prepared for... something about a new masterless djinn with an attitude problem...

Life as a genie isn't one of leisure, I take it.

Not hardly.  I have a business to run and genies to rescue.  

Well, thanks for joining me today.  I hope you'll come back soon and chat some more.  Oh, she's already gone.  

Do you have any questions for Jo?  I'm sure I'll get her to stop in and answer them at some point.

And if you'd like to know more about Josephine Mayweather, her business, her mission, and her stories,  Wish in One Hand is available for pre-order and launches on the 18th.