Sunday, January 13, 2013

Lucky Sevens Sunday Snippet - Unequal pg 37

Here we are again with another installment of the Lucky Sevens Sunday Snippet.  Last week we had two new players.  Who'll join us this week?

The rules are simple.  Go to any manuscript of your own.  Pick a '7' page (7, 97, 147... you get the gist) and post a snippet from that page on your blog - or here if you don't have a blog.  It can be a sentence, a paragraph... the whole page if you want. When you get done, come back here and let me know so I can link up to your snippet and visit to see what you've written.

Today's snippet again comes from Unequal.  Here we're farther along in the story.  Rue's secret has been discovered and she's about to escape from the hospital with her only ally when she realizes there's one patient she can't leave behind...

“We can’t leave later.  Now come on.”

“I have something I have to do first.”

“You can’t help your patients now.  Trust me, they’ll be better off if you aren’t caught with any of them.  And if the DOE talks to any of them, you’ll be surprised how fast they turn you in.”

Rue shook her head.  “Not the one I’m thinking of.  He’s too small to tell anyone anything, and he’s too damn small to leave here unprotected.”

Hubert’s mouth opened to argue, but something in Rue’s face must’ve told her it was no use.  “Fine, but you do realize he won’t have to talk to turn us in.  All he has to do is cry.”

Hope you enjoyed.  Anyone else playing along will be added below as the links come in.

And just a disclaimer.  The above manuscript is in first draft form, so I know it's not perfect.  This is about sharing your work, not offering critiques.  ;o)

Also participating...

Janet at Janet's Journal


  1. The more you post snippets of Unequal, the more I want to read the whole thing. Tell me again, this is done? You've shelved it why? I like Rue - her humanity shines in this snippet.

    I'm in - snippet has been posted over on The Journal :)

  2. Any time you want to read it, Janet, let me know. This is 'first draft done', but I never finished editing it. Got distracted by some other manuscript, I guess. Heh, the story of my writing life. Pretty shiny new stories distract the heck out of me.

    And I love that snippet! Of course, I love that book. =o)

  3. I'm with Janet! I want to read it too. First, though, I've got Djinnocide in the queue. I'm still doing the 6SS but will start Lucky 7s when it ends in two weeks. In the meantime, here's a short snippet from page 17 of FAERIE FOOL. Rory and a "trainee" are on top of a building at a hostage incident.

    "Target team Alpha set." [Rory's] calm voice whispered through the microphone attached to his radio earpiece. Cutting his eyes to the left, he glanced over at New Boy. Sweat dotted the kid's forehead, soaking through the band of his cap. Rory's upper lip curled in contempt. He switched off the voice activation on his radio. Without moving his head, he said a bit louder, "Relax. We're going to be here awhile."

    "I know." Carter sounded defensive.

    "Then why are you sweating?" Rory wasn't in the mood to be nice.

    "It's hot out here."

    There it was, he thought, the New Boy whine. He should trademark the description. "And it'll get hotter yet." Rory had done his time as a field training officer. He didn't relish repeating the experience, espcially since this pup wanted his job. "Once the sun goes down, it'll get cold. And you'll get thirsty. Or hungry. You'll need to piss, too, so you'd better learn to hold it." He heard movement, the faint brush of whipcord material against tar paper. He cut his eyes as New Boy swiveled to face him and then immediately returned his focus to the scope and the scene playing out across the street.

    "I can outlast you, dickhead."

    Rory snorted. "Yeah, you and your little dog, too, Dorothy."

  4. Love this snippet, Silver - they're having a little pissing contest up there!

  5. Just a teeny one, Janet. LOL New Boy has plans for Rory. Just sayin'...

  6. Great snippet, Silver! Heh, 'New Boy Whine' - he should trademark that. ;o)